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Moms we love give advice on having your second child.

dad with kidsIn the months leading up to Juni's arrival, Amy confided in me so much of her excitement (and oh, have we been excited!) but also some of her worries of adjusting to being a mother of two, fears I had felt along with so many other mothers I know. The speculation of what will change as your family grows from an established dynamic to its own unchartered territory— that bringing another kid into the mix might take away from your existing child, that it will add so much more difficulty to the balancing game that is parenthood, that you will fail yourself somehow. We decided that since it’s such a universally humbling and scary experience, that our darling friends would have some valuable input on the subject. We were right, of course.
-Amy B, VP of Operations

Kacia from Coconut Robot:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
LAUGH.  Laugh when you smell like spoiled milk and half of your shirt is wet before you forgot breast pads at home and the baby just had a blow out.  Laugh. Laughter is good, stress makes you look haggard...and then you'll need to spend more money on expensive eye creams.  No really though, you'll get through the crazy, so laugh while you're in it. 
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
Well, knowing that we could get back to one-on-one defense once Andy gets home from work each day, for one.  But when it's just me and the two kiddos, I remember that if 50% or more of them are happy, then I'm happy.  Sometimes the toddler needs to learn to be patient, and sometimes the babe has to fuss for a minute while I finish getting sister's shoes on.  When 0% of them are happy? Usually i'm in tears too. 

And then I laugh, because we just look ridiculous. 

Kaelah from The Clueless Girl's Guide:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
Stock up on wine. the cheap stuff, like from trader joe's. you're going to need a lot of it. (seriously.)
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
I'm still trying to find it. It's Crazytown, USA over here 24/7

Nicole from Small Fry:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
Transitioning from 1 to 2 kids is scary business. I remember being so afraid i wouldn't have the special one on one time i had with my first baby (which actually proved very true) however, the bond became just as strong in those late hour feedings, during dash's nap time when i would get the time to sit and stare and Sunnys face. My heart doubled in size when that second kiddo arrived. Splitting your love and time in half is a falsehood. I felt so blessed to have time and love to wrap around each of them.
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
Something that kept me sane was my Solly Wrap. I was able to help my toddler while still holding and staying close to my little newborn. It held him right up next to my chest. He was warm and safe and bonding with me, while i had two free hands to help my 2 year old with his needs. 

Emily from Small Fry:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
I remember my very first outing alone with both my boys. It was a birthday party and I had timed everything right and planned so well I was sure my baby Cal would sleep in the wrap the whole time so I could focus on helping my timid 16 month old Hayes enjoy himself with a room full of screaming kids. Turns out, newborns do whatever they want. Cal pooped, got hungry, all the while Hayes started panicking about all the kids and we found ourselves in the hallway, all three of us crying. Too much too soon! I think it was actually Jenna who came out into the hall where I sighed-slash-laughed "I'm getting my ass kicked." My best advice is ease back into your life. Start small, have help, don't be afraid to admit defeat. Nothing sets us up to fail quite like too-high expectations!
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
Laughter keeps me sane in all areas of my life, but especially parenting. Being able to laugh and see the humor, for me, immediately takes the seriousness out of it. Sometimes it doesn't come until later, but it will come if you look for it. I hope that when I'm old my kids memories of me are throwing my head back in a good laugh. 

Jenna from Small Fry:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
I remember anticipating the arrival of our second baby boy with such an excitement AND fear. People aren't afraid to tell you how this next baby will take things to the next level & your life all be a whole new realm of chaos. And while that might be true, they seem to leave out the part about how your home bursts to the seams with love, peace & joy with the welcoming of a new baby...and best of all a new sibling. The love between brothers gets me through the really tough transitions, late nights, early mornings. Knowing they have each other for life, it's the best gift I could have ever given them.
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
It was really vital for me to remember that I can't do it all. So cutting back on virtually everything till I was prepared to get back in to real life was what got me through. Cutting back on design clients, parties, engagements etc...and just really focusing on my children. That's all you can do for a couple months!

Jennifer from Jen Loves Kev:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
My advice is that you really have to kick the Mommy guilt to the curb. It comes on thick after you have your second child. You've never had to balance life, love, and attention between 2 kids before. Your first kiddo has always been your #1 little bud and now you are recovering, trying to take care of a newborn and there's a lot of chaos. I remember feeling so guilty that Rowan (our 1st) was going to feel so unloved in those first few weeks after Finley was born. I felt so guilt for letting her watch more tv than normal or that I had to say "not right now sweetie" a hundred times a day. You know what though? It all works itself out. Balance and routine return and you figure out how to make time for each of you kids. Rowan doesn't remember those first few weeks other than the special time Finley was born anyways- no harm was done. Give yourself a break and just do what you need to do with out attaching the guilt. 
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
A hot shower (15 glorious mins all to myself), chamomile tea, and lots of chocolate. 

Chandra from Oh Lovely Day:
What's your best piece of advice for someone transitioning from one to two kids?
Keep your expectations low and ask for help. Don't think you can watch both kids, cook dinner, get a shower, and pay any sort of attention to your partner. If you are able to do just one of those things you're golden. Make a trader joes meal or order takeout. Let the laundry sit unfolded for a week. Get a cleaning lady (or fella) if you can. Take whatever help you can, because you can't do it all. It takes a while, and even then only happens on occasion for me (and I'm 4 months in right now).
What is the one thing that kept you sane when you were first outnumbered by your kids?
iPad got me through those early days. My husband works in the entertainment industry and couldn't take any time off the job he was working when our second son was born, so I had Calvin on a Thursday, we were home on Saturday, and on Monday I was on my own with two. My oldest is 4 and in preschool part of the week (which also really helped) but on the days I was outnumbered and nursing constantly there was a lot of movie watching and iPad game playing. Whatever gets you through!

3 comments

  • Jo

    Thanks for posting this… It’s great to know that I’m not completely losing it! I just had my boy 7 weeks ago and my lil babe is a little over 2. It’s been a bit insane in our household, but things are getting a lot better. Totally agree that 1. Laughter is key and 2. The Bjorn is my new best friend!! It’s also important to know when to walk away or step aside to take a breather. When you feel like you’re going to snap if one more thing goes the wrong way, just take a moment to yourself. And remember, crying never hurt anyone ;)


  • Naomi

    I’m 4 months in and still feel like I have nothing figured out in all this chaos. I do have to second that the Solly Baby Wrap has saved my sanity many times though.


  • Beth

    I’m expecting my 2nd in August 2015 and my 1st will be over 2 1/2 by then. My son is a wild thing who has my entire heart. I’ve always known we would have more than 1 child but I’m praying it’s a great dynamic for us all! Thankfully I stay home full time, have many friends to lean on, and have a large online group of moms to ask for advice.


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